Everything in Life is a Relationship

We don’t just have relationships with people—we have them with places and things too. For example, what kind of relationship do you have with money? Think about it. Is it loving? Healthy? Unhealthy? Toxic?

Your relationship with money will determine how much of it you have, plain and simple. If you’re consistently struggling with money, stop wasting your time reading Dave Ramsey books—start by examining and changing your relationship with it.

The Truth About Money and Relationships

Here’s what I believe: If all the money in the world were divided equally among everyone, within five years, most of it would end up back in the hands of a small minority. Why?

Because people with bad relationships to money push it away, while those with good relationships attract it like a magnet.

I didn’t have a healthy relationship with money. I’ve spent most of my life with a poverty mindset—I mistakenly believed I was poor. This mindset runs deep in my family, passed down for generations. The thing about believing you’re poor is that even when you’re not, you still think you are.

I’ve made a lot of money in my life—more than most—but having more money didn’t cure my poverty mindset. Being rich doesn’t fix the “poverty disease.” Why do you think 70% of lottery winners go bankrupt within a few years?

If you believe you’re poor, you’ll create circumstances to prove it. In my case, I’d always find a way to lose my money. My life was a constant rags-to-riches seesaw.

It wasn’t just me. My father was incredibly successful—Ernst & Young Entrepreneur of the Year—but he died penniless. My mother inherited a fortune from her late husband, but now she can’t rub two pennies together.

The Way You Do Anything is the Way You Do Everything

There’s a saying: “The way you do anything is the way you do everything.” I’ve come to realize that the relationship I had with money mirrored my relationship with everything else.

I invite you to reflect on any of your relationships—whether it’s with food, exercise, sex, friends, or even your spouse. Chances are, you’ll find a common pattern that colors how you relate to everything. Maybe it’s avoidance, indulgence, deprivation, or neediness.

The good news is, once you heal your relationship with one thing, all your relationships start to heal as a result. So, pick the relationship that’s likely to do the most damage if left unchecked, and get to work!

For me, it was the belief that “there’s not enough.” I carried that mindset into everything—there was never enough love, exercise, food. My partners were never enough, my friends were never enough. It’s exhausting just writing about it.

As I mentioned in last week’s article on surrendering to life, all this "not enoughness" stemmed from my own belief that I wasn’t enough.

The Ancient Cure for Healing Relationships

There is a way to heal these relationships that no longer serve us. This cure has been spoken about for thousands of years, but only now are people starting to listen, as neuroscience and quantum physics begin to corroborate what mystics and philosophers have been telling us all along.

This cure isn’t a quick fix, and it’s not a band-aid solution you can find in a pill. It’s a practice that requires dedication and consistency, but the benefits will open you up to possibilities in your life you never imagined.

Why is Being Present So Important?

The key to healing your relationship with money—or any relationship you choose—starts with being present. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told I’m not present, especially by romantic partners. These days, “being present” is a buzzword.

Everyone’s talking about it, striving for it, or complaining when their partner isn’t. But here’s the thing: being present is the cure you’ve been looking for. It’s the key to living an extraordinary life. Everything you desire—success, love, heath—exists in the present.

And if being present is the key, then meditation is the practice that unlocks the life you truly want.

The Power of the Unknown

Another way to think of the present is as the unknown. When we are present, we step into the unknown—and that terrifies most people. The unknown is uncomfortable.

We crave the known, the familiar, because it feels safe and predictable. The known gives us the illusion of control. But control is an illusion.

When we cling to the past, it’s because it’s familiar—even if it’s painful. When we worry about the future, we think we’re preparing ourselves, but we’re really just trying to predict what could go wrong—once again, sticking to what we know.

Everything in our external world—our job, possessions, identity, money, mortgage—belongs to the known. These are the things we hold onto for a sense of security. But here’s the truth: everything we desire—whether it’s financial abundance or a soulmate—exists in the unknown.

Meditation: The Practice of Becoming Familiar with the Unknown

The Tibetan word for meditation is gom, which means “to become familiar with.” Meditation is the practice of becoming familiar with the unknown—the very place that terrifies us but also the place where everything we desire exists.

We’ve all become experts at being familiar with the known—you could even say we’ve already been meditating, but on the wrong thing. We cling to what feels safe and familiar, mistakenly thinking it will make us feel better, when in reality it makes us feel worse.

Meditating on the known is like being addicted to a drug that gives short-term relief but ultimately destroys us.

We need to flip the equation. We need to practice craving the unknown as if it were a drug. When we become obsessed with the unknown, we begin to destroy everything that destroys us. All limitations are lifted, and what remains is pure possibility.

The Unknown is Where All Possibilities Live

In the unknown, somebody becomes nobody. Something becomes nothing. Somewhere becomes nowhere. Sometime becomes no time.

In other words, everything we think is true and real—our thoughts about the past and future, and our external world—ceases to exist. And where no things exist, there is space for some things to exist. Can you follow that?

The unknown is where possibility lives. When nothing exists, there’s infinite potential to create something new.

The unknown is like a blank canvas, representing limitless possibilities to create whatever we want. When we remove the limitations imposed by the known, we open ourselves up to the limitless—where everything is possible.

Your current relationships that no longer serve you, your limiting beliefs, your environment, your circumstances, and your past—all the knowns that you cling to and think are real—are exactly what’s keeping you stuck on the hamster wheel.

Meditation: The Key to Transforming Your Limiting Relationships

If meditation is the practice of becoming familiar with the unknown—and the unknown is where all possibilities live—then meditation is the practice of becoming familiar with what is possible for you.

And when you practice possibility—watch out! That’s when the magic and miracles start to happen in your life.

The sad truth is, most of us, consciously or not, are practicing limitation and impossibility. When we don’t meditate, we spend all our waking hours in the very place that creates our suffering.

We’re trying to create change in the same realm responsible for the things we want to change. We’re looking for solutions from the known, but it’s the known that’s creating the problems we’re trying to fix.

See the craziness in that? That’s why we often feel stuck, like we’re on a hamster wheel, banging our head against the wall, or going crazy.

90% of the thoughts you have today are the same as yesterday. Our thinking is like Groundhog Day—remember that movie with Bill Murray? When we think the same thoughts over and over, we live the same life over and over.

Want to know what your life will look like in five years? It’ll look a lot like today. Want to know what your financial situation will be? The same as today—and if you win the lottery, it might take eight years, but it’ll still end up looking like today.

In other words, you’re headed toward a predictable future that looks just like your past—unless you change your thinking. But you can’t change by using the same thinking that created the problem in the first place.

Change Your Subconscious Mind to Change Your Reality

95% of your reality is created by your subconscious mind. Only 5% comes from your conscious mind. So if you want to change your predictable future, it’s critical that you access the subconscious.

And how do you access it? Drum roll, please—you access the subconscious in the unknown, where possibility lives. And you guessed it—through the practice of meditation.

The unknown is your subconscious, while the known is your conscious mind. We can’t see what’s going on in the subconscious because it’s hidden behind the doors of the unknown.

Our conscious thoughts, however, are painfully familiar—they’re like the backseat driver in our head that never stops talking.

Here’s the truth: your subconscious mind is king/Queen. It rules your life and shapes your reality. If you want to change your future and break free from the predictable path, you MUST tap into your subconscious.

Yet most of us try to make changes by relying on our weaker conscious mind. We’re attempting to change our reality using the part of our mind that simply doesn’t have the power to do so.

It’s like trying to dig a well with a spoon when you have an excavator right next to you—or trying to buy milk from a hardware store. Trying to change your relationship with money—through conscious actions alone like budgeting or getting a new job—is like using 5% of your mind to change 95% of your reality.

It’s trying to shift your subconscious beliefs by manipulating the surface-level aspects of your life.

No wonder we get so frustrated. No wonder so many of us give up and let ourselves go.

Meditation is the key to unlocking the doors to your subconscious mind, where real, lasting change happens. It’s the gateway to the queen/king—the part of your mind that can grant you everything you desire: money, abundance, love, health, and the life you truly want.

The Divinity Within: A Hindu Legend

There’s an old Hindu legend I love. In this tale, the gods gather to decide where to hide humanity’s divinity after humans had abused it. Some suggested burying it deep in the earth, sinking it in the ocean, or placing it atop the highest mountain. But the chief god, Brahma, rejected each idea, saying that humans would eventually dig, dive, or climb to retrieve their divinity.

Finally, Brahma suggested, “Let us hide it deep within themselves; they will never think to look for it there.” The gods agreed, and since then, the story goes, humans have searched the world for something that has always been inside them—their own divine nature.

The word divinity is defined as a divine being—a god or goddess. But the teaching I take from the Hindu parable is that God is our subconscious—the supreme ruler, the one who can create miracles and magic in our lives, the one who can grant us everything we desire. The gods chose to hide our powerful subconscious inside us so we could discover it for ourselves. It only took me over 40 years to find it - have you found it yet?

I also believe divinity can mean possibility. If you strip away the religious interpretation of God, what’s left is pure possibility. God is everything and nothing. God is the universe, the mystery—the great unknown. In the Hindu parable, the gods decided to hide this great unknown—this infinite possibility—within each human being.

This parable highlights the theme of this article: our greatest truths and possibilities lie within us, in the unknown, yet we often overlook them as we search for external answers.

Your Limiting Relationships

Your limiting relationships—whether with money, health, or love—are no different. The transformation you’re seeking isn’t out there in the world—in your job, your bank account, your possessions, or in this article you’re reading. It’s inside you, in your subconscious, in the unknown.

And through meditation, you can access that unknown, heal those limiting relationships, and open yourself to the infinite possibilities waiting for you.

So, What Now?

Hahaha, well, start meditating daily—morning and evening for 20 minutes. Find a simple meditation technique and stick with it. I use one called the Hong Sau technique, taught to me by Yogananda. You’re welcome to use mine or find your own. If you’re interested, I have a great instructional video on the technique I use that can get you started.

For those of you subscribed to my newsletter via my free negotiation course, you might remember the module on aiming high when you negotiate—expect more, get more, right? After training over 25,000 people in negotiation, I’ve learned that expectations are the most important part of the process. How can you be successful in negotiation—or anything—if you don’t believe you’re worthy of success?

Really, that’s what this whole article is about: healing those limiting beliefs by becoming familiar with the unknown. I don’t dive into the 'Known' and 'Unknown' concepts in my corporate talks—it’s a bit too deep for those settings. In the corporate world, I have to simplify things, keep it surface-level, and avoid being too confrontational.

I often make these deeper teachings more digestible by lightening them up or using rhymes. For example, “Expect More, Get More. Expect Less, Get Less.” When things rhyme, people seem more open to exploring deeper concepts.

The reason I love writing these weekly articles is that I get to fully express myself, without worrying about upsetting a client or audience. No censoring here. If you don’t like what I’m saying, you just simply unsubscribe!

But this—what we’ve been talking about here—is the real work. When you’re truly ready for change—when you’ve had enough and need to change, or else—this is the kind of material you need to dive into.

If you’re fed up with your financial struggles, there’s work to be done—and I know because this is the work I do EVERY DAY. The truth is, the answers you’re seeking have been hidden inside you all along.

The Magicians of Beauty

Next week, I’m starting a book study for those who want to begin their money healing journey into the unknown—into the hidden.

Do you have a scarcity or poverty mindset and want to shift to abundance? This book study might be exactly what you're looking for.

I know money isn’t everything, but it’s a great place to start healing because transforming your relationship with money will ripple into all your other relationships. Money also serves as a great scorecard for progress—if you’re making $80,000 a year now, and a year from now you’re making $300,000, you’ll know your relationship with money is healing.

This book study group will be called The Magicians of Beauty (or The Mob for short). We’ll meet twice a week on Zoom, it will be an ongoing monthly membership, and we’ll be studying two books:

The Power of Awareness by Neville Goddard
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Joe Dispenza

These books dive deep into the concepts we’ve discussed—one from a philosophical perspective and the other from a scientific one. Together, they’ll give you a well-rounded understanding.

Each Zoom meeting will be 60 minutes long.

One session will be a Q&A with me.
The other session will focus on reading and sharing insights.

Plus, you’ll have access to all my other resources in this new community as well.

If you’d like to join the book study, here’s the link to sign up: https://www.skool.com/mob/about

That’s it for this week! I hope you spend some time getting familiar with the unknown.

See you next Thursday!

Whenever you're ready, there are 3 ways I can help you and/or your team:

Join The Magicians of Beauty (The Mob): Transform your relationship with money and yourself. If you’re ready to heal limiting beliefs that hold you back and unlock the limitless possibilities in your life, this community is here to guide you. Click here to sign up now and begin your transformation.
Book me to speak at your next sales kickoff meeting or conference: I've spoken about sales negotiation to over 25,000 people worldwide. Text the word "SPEAKER," to 310-927-5657 and someone will contact you within 24 hours to discuss.
Bring me on to train your sales team: I've trained teams from some of the world's largest organizations, yielding an incredible ROI of $535 for every dollar spent. My methods have generated an additional $1B in revenue across various industries. If you're interested, please text the word "TRANSFORMATION," to 310-927-5657 and someone will schedule a discovery call with you shortly.

Money Miracles: How Meditation Can Change Your Financial Future