How to Be Happy and Rich: Insights from Nobel Prize-Winning Science
I've trained over 20,000 people in negotiation, studied with top behavioral scientists, and learned from some of the world’s greatest philosophers. Today, I want to share one of the most impactful lessons I've learned—one that I promise can significantly boost your success in both business and life.
A few years ago, the Dutch government received complaints about noise on their public trains. Passengers wanted quiet sections where they could rest, work, or meditate. The government put up signs urging silence, but it didn’t work—people kept talking.
Frustrated, the government hired a consulting firm. Their solution? Redesign the quiet sections to look like libraries. Suddenly, silence was achieved.
The lesson? People often don’t realize what influences their decisions and behavior. We think we know, but we usually don’t.
But there is someone who does know...
Enter Dr. Daniel Kahneman, a Nobel Prize-winning economist and one of the greatest minds of our time. He uncovered fascinating insights into human decision-making that, once understood, can profoundly impact your life and work.
The Most Important Language to Learn
Dr. Kahneman discovered that humans have two thinking systems: a fast one and a slow one. Think of them as a fast computer and a slow computer in your head.
When I ask, “What’s 2 + 2?” you immediately think “4” without effort. That’s your fast computer, which Kahneman calls System 1.
Now, if I ask you to solve 2000 x 423/62, you’ll need to concentrate. This requires your slow computer, or System 2.
System 1 works unconsciously, making quick, automatic decisions. It's the reason you might repeatedly date the wrong person, even when you know better. System 2, on the other hand, is conscious and deliberate, reserved for tackling complex problems like deciding on a big purchase.
Here’s the catch: System 1 is error-prone. It’s fast but makes mistakes. System 2 is more reliable but too slow for our fast-paced world.
Kahneman found that 90% of our decisions were made by System 1. Today, it’s closer to 98% as the world speeds up, leaving System 2 struggling to even keep up.
The key takeaway? To persuade or influence someone, you need to speak to their System 1 because it’s running the show. But System 1 doesn’t understand logic or language the way System 2 does—it has its own language.
So, where do you learn the language of System 1? Dr. Kahneman points to Dr. Robert Cialdini, the “godfather of persuasion.” His 7 principles of persuasion speak directly to System 1.
Want to learn how to speak the language of System 1? Here are three books to get you started:
The Power of Priming
Last night, I went to a concert where the only food options were unhealthy. So, I ended up having chicken tenders, a few of my daughter’s waffle fries, and yes, I also polished off her cheeseburger as well.
Now, look at this word: SO_P
You probably thought of “soup” when you first saw it, right? That’s because I influenced you by priming you with cheeseburgers and waffle fries. If I had mentioned laundry or Windex instead, you might have thought of “soap” instead of "soup."
This is a psychological phenomenon called "Priming.” Priming influences how we think by shaping what we experience first. It’s part of the language of System 1—the fast, automatic mind.
In a well-known NYU experiment, students were asked to form four-letter words from scrambled letters. One group had letters that formed words related to the elderly (e.g., Florida, cane, medication), while the other groups had random, unrelated words. Afterward, all the students were told to walk down a long hallway to a new room for the next part of the experiment. What they didn’t know was that the walk was the real experiment. The researchers discovered that students primed with elderly-related words walked more slowly down the hallway than the others.
It can also influence how much money you're willing to pay for something. In a famous study, Dr. Dan Ariely asked people to write down the last two digits of their social security numbers. Then, they were asked to bid on products. Those with numbers above 50 bid 354% more than those with numbers below 50.
Fascinating, isn’t it? Priming is so powerful that it can influence how fast you walk and how much you spend. I see priming as a superpower—wouldn’t you like to learn how to harness this superpower in your own life?
It's crucial to realize that everything in our environment is constantly priming us—whether it's the music we listen to, the shows we watch, the books we read, the people we spend time with, or even the furniture and art in our homes. Everything, down to sitting at a wobbly table, primes us and can influence our day, making us more sensitive to instability. Priming shapes our perception of the world, impacting our decisions and emotions. Being mindful of what we allow into our space is key to living intentionally. Think of yourself as an antique shop owner who only selects the most beautiful pieces to showcase. Fill your life with things that uplift, inspire, and bring positivity. If you’re feeling stuck, the simplest change you can make is to alter the primers in your environment—redesign your space to support the life you want.
Tips for Positive Priming:
Go on a 30-day news fast.
Surround yourself with beautiful art.
Play uplifting music in the morning.
Write 10 things you’re grateful for each day.
Read an inspiring book each morning.
Avoid people who drain you.
Write an inspirational message on your bathroom mirror.
Take a 10-minute walk in nature.
Even small changes can have a significant impact because of their compounding effect. Reading just three inspiring pages from a book each morning can prime the rest of your day, setting you on a different path. Every action has a reaction—it's a universal law, just like gravity.
It’s What You Do Before You Do What You do That Counts
The key to success isn’t just what you do, but what you do before you do it. How do you start your day? Do you check emails first thing? Consider dedicating your first 20-60 minutes to meditation, prayer, or exercise.
One of my favorite tools from BJ Fogg, author of "Tiny Habits," is the Maui Habit: When you wake up and place your feet on the floor, say out loud, “It’s going to be a great day.” This small, simple action takes less than 5 seconds and primes your day for the better. System 1 thrives on simplicity and ease—it loves shortcuts. On the other hand, System 2 prefers complexity and challenge. But remember, System 1 runs the show. We often believe that things need to be hard to be valuable—that’s System 2 thinking. In reality, the simpler, the better. The Maui Habit works because ease is a language that System 1 understands.
What about before bed? Instead of watching TV, try meditating for 20 minutes and see how your sleep improves. I used to watch TV before bed and slept my usual 8 hours without issue. But when I switched to meditating for 20 minutes before sleep, I still got my 8 hours, but I woke up feeling so much better. The quality of my sleep improved dramatically.
Be the Dog That Wags the Tail
In conclusion, every important moment in your life is preceded by a crucial one. How you spend that preceding moment will determine your success in the moment that follows.
As my father used to say, "Be the dog that wags the tail, not the tail that wags the dog."
You have more control than you think in designing the life you deserve. Priming, with its direct access to our System 1, offers a powerful framework to help you create a life you love. It’s up to you to take action, but priming lays the foundation for an extraordinary life—the kind that is your birthright.
That's it for this week. Thanks for making this article part of your priming experience.
See you next Thursday
Whenever you're ready, there are 6 ways I can help you and your team:
Book me to speak at your next sales kickoff meeting or conference: I've spoken about sales negotiation to over 20,000 people worldwide. Text the word "SPEAKER," to 310-927-5657 and someone will contact you within 24 hours to discuss.
Bring me on to train your sales team: I've trained teams from some of the world's largest organizations, yielding an incredible ROI of $535 for every dollar spent. My methods have generated an additional $1B in revenue across various industries. If you're interested, please text the word "TRANSFORMATION," to 310-927-5657 and someone will schedule a discovery call with you shortly.
[COMING SOON] Negotiate Price Like a STUD, Not a DUD: An online, self-directed course designed to help you defend your pricing and fees effectively.
[COMING SOON] The Ethical Conman Mastermind & Bookstudy: I've recently been certified as a master trainer in persuasion and influence by Dr. Robert Cialdini himself. I'm launching a new, exclusive 8-week program that deep dives into the principles of ethical persuasion and influence for leaders. Learn how to become a more magnetic leader and get more people to say "Yes" to you.
[TBD] Live 2-Day Public Negotiation Seminar in Los Angeles: Join us for a unique opportunity to master negotiation skills, network with other leaders, and enjoy a swanky hotel in LA. It's also a perfect chance to train key people from your organization if in-house training isn't feasible.
[TBD] Annual Retreat for Leaders in Life Transitions: Join our intensive retreat designed to help leaders navigate life transitions and discover their next chapter. These retreats focus on authenticity and living a life true to your authentic self. Hundreds have experienced transformation through my retreats.
