The Ethical Conman: Lessons in Persuasion and Gratitude

In 2015, I found myself sitting at the bar of the Ritz-Carlton in Fort Lauderdale. I had a seminar the next day and was sipping a glass of Pinot Noir while tweaking my PowerPoint slides. The atmosphere was relaxed—one of those evenings where everything feels perfectly in place, a seamless blend of luxury and comfort thanks to the world-class hospitality training of the Ritz-Carlton.

Then, I heard a voice beside me:

“I like your laptop case.”

I turned to thank the gentleman sitting nearby, a man in his 30s, and immediately noticed something...different about him. His demeanor, his tone—everything about him seemed slightly unusual. My first thought was, “Oh my God, it’s Rain Man.” It was obvious he was on the spectrum, likely with Asperger’s, and I found myself instantly curious.

“Thank you,” I replied.

He smiled and introduced himself as Saleem, quickly following up with another compliment about my case. “Where’d you get it?” he asked, looking at it with excessive admiration.

“Amazon,” I answered.

He nodded, studying the case as if it were a rare artifact. Then, almost apologetically, he explained, “I have Asperger’s, so I sometimes come across as...awkward.”

I laughed and said, “That’s quite alright,” before turning back to my slides. But Saleem wasn’t done talking.

“What brings you to Fort Lauderdale?” he asked.

I wasn’t in the mood for small talk, but something about his childlike sincerity made me feel bad for brushing him off. I figured he was probably lonely. So, I answered, telling him about my seminar. Out of politeness, I asked what brought him to Florida.

That’s when the conversation took a sharp turn.

"I Never Lose."

Saleem leaned in and shared that he was a professional blackjack player—a card counter, to be precise. He told me he traveled the world, working with high-net-worth clients who paid him to join them in casinos. Because most casinos recognized him as a card counter, he always went in disguise. And, with absolute confidence, he said, “I never lose. I can turn $5,000 into $150,000 in just a few hours.”

I was riveted.

To prove his prowess, he pulled out his phone and showed me a video. In the clip, someone threw a deck of cards onto the ground, scattering them everywhere. In the background, I heard his voice calmly predicting each card as it was flipped over—correctly, seven or eight times in a row. The people in the room erupted in cheers, their amazement audible, as if they were witnessing a David Blaine magic trick.

But he wasn’t done. Next, he showed me pictures of his celebrity clients: Leonardo DiCaprio, arm around him, smiling. Then Mark Wahlberg, grinning beside him. The list went on.

In a matter of minutes, I went from feeling sorry for this guy to feeling completely starstruck.

A Tempting Offer

Naturally, I asked if I could give him money to gamble for me.

He smiled knowingly, as if he’d heard this request a thousand times before. “There’s a year-long waiting list to work with me,” he said, “but give me your number, and I’ll have my assistant contact you.”

I handed over my number, practically in awe, and he abruptly excused himself, saying he had to meet his client at the casino. Work beckoned.

Still buzzing from this surreal encounter, I began fantasizing about a life-changing partnership. I imagined myself hobnobbing with Leo at Monte Carlo casinos, raking in cash, with Saleem—our secret weapon—turning the tables on the house.

The Call

As I made my way back to my room to settle in for the evening, my phone rang.

It was Saleem.

His client’s flight had been canceled, and he was at the casino alone.

“It’s your lucky day,” he said. “Meet me at the casino in 30 minutes with at least $5,000 in cash.”

He hung up before I could even respond.

I felt like a character in a movie—plucked from obscurity and thrust into a high-stakes world I’d only seen in Hollywood films. With adrenaline pumping, I sprinted back to my hotel room, giddy with excitement.

I was about to grab my wallet when a loud, clear voice in my head stopped me: Google the phone number he just called you from.

The Truth

What came up stopped me in my tracks.

Saleem wasn’t a card-counting savant. He was Simon Gann, one half of the infamous “Don Juan Twins,” a pair of conmen wanted in multiple states. Their scams were legendary—posing as brilliant doctors, MIT math geniuses, or, as I’d just experienced, professional blackjack players. Simon had played me like a violin.

Lessons in Ethical Persuasion

What struck me most wasn’t the betrayal—it was the sheer artistry of his con.

Simon had used every principle of persuasion on me that night:

Social Proof: The celebrity photos.
Authority: The video of him predicting cards.
Scarcity: The year-long waiting list.
Liking: His opening compliment about my laptop case.

Every move was calculated, deliberate, and executed with the precision of a master manipulator. But here’s the thing: the principles Simon used aren’t inherently bad—they’re tools. Like any tool, they can be wielded for good or ill.

Simon chose deception. But what if he hadn’t? What if he used his talents to inspire, uplift, and connect instead of conning people? This question planted the seed for The Ethical Conman.

Gratitude: The Ethical Expression of Liking

One of the principles Simon wielded so skillfully that night was the Principle of Liking. At its core, this principle states that people are more likely to say yes to those they like—people who are similar to them or who praise them.

The simplest way to build rapport with someone? Praise them sincerely: “I love your watch.” “Your Instagram post was fantastic.” Or find common ground: “Hey, we both love Thai food!” “We’re both wearing Vans.”

The Principle of Liking works because it taps into our deep human desire for connection. But its highest purpose isn’t to manipulate someone into saying yes. Its greatest expression is gratitude.

Gratitude: The Principle of Liking on a Higher Plane

Gratitude takes the Principle of Liking to a higher plane. It’s not just about praising people—it’s about praising life itself. While we are innately wired to seek connection with others, what we truly and deeply desire is a connection with life itself.

When we prioritize connecting with life—seeing its beauty, its lessons, and its divine orchestration—the connection with people becomes a natural byproduct. Gratitude shifts our perspective, allowing us to embrace life as something happening for us, not to us. It enables us to recognize that even the most challenging moments carry gifts and wisdom.

Praising Life and Embracing Duality

By praising life in all its dualities—light and dark, joy and sorrow, abundance and lack—we begin surrendering to life rather than resisting it. When we approach life from a place of surrender, we unlock the door to ease and abundance. We approach life with hands wide open, inviting beauty to land.

When we resist life—when we approach it with clenched fists, unwilling to accept what is—we create a life of struggle and chaos. Resistance closes us off, allowing no possibilities to enter.

Gratitude isn’t just about positivity; it’s about seeing through the lens of love and trusting that life is divinely orchestrated—even when everything feels chaotic. It’s the practice of shifting from “Why is this happening to me?” to “Why is this happening for me?”

When we praise life, we open ourselves to the possibility that every moment, no matter how difficult, carries a gift.

But here’s the key: it’s not about waiting to see the gift in your hardships before believing that life is happening for you. It’s about believing in the gifts and miracles inherent in those hardships—and then seeing them.

The old adage of “seeing is believing” belongs to an era when we thought the world was flat. The deeper truth we now understand is this: once we believe it, we will see it.

Praising life is an act of trust. It’s an affirmation that even in the darkest times, life is working for us, not against us. And when we align with that belief, life begins to reveal its gifts in ways we could never have imagined.

The Transformative Power of Gratitude

What if Simon and his brother had practiced gratitude in their lives? What if their parents had taught them the law of gratitude from a young age? What if, instead of exploiting others, they’d chosen to see life’s gifts, even in its challenges?

I truly believe in the transformative power of gratitude—it has the ability to turn a hardened criminal into a saint.

Gratitude shifts our perspective, helping us see the lessons and opportunities hidden within life’s struggles. It opens the door to a life led by love, rather than fear or greed, and transforms not just our actions, but the very essence of who we are.

Gratitude transforms the Principle of Liking from a tactic into a way of being. It aligns us with the flow of life, making us magnetic—not because we’re chasing yeses, but because we are a yes.

The Secret to Life Is Becoming an Apple Tree

An apple tree doesn’t try to grow apples—it just does. A wealthy person doesn’t try to achieve wealth; they are wealth.

When we try to achieve wealth, love, or health, we are actually telling life that we lack these things. The act of chasing inherently affirms the absence of what we’re pursuing. It’s the very striving, the trying, the chasing that blocks the thing we’re chasing from arriving.

When we chase, we’re not surrendering to life. We’re not praising life. Instead, we’re saying:

“Life, you’re not providing for me.”
“You’re not doing your job.”
“There is lack.”
“Your divine orchestration is wrong.”

But gratitude flips this script. It acknowledges that life is always providing, always orchestrating perfectly—even if we don’t yet see it.

Praise Life, and It Will Harden Into Fact

When we praise life, we affirm its abundance, its flow, its perfect timing. Gratitude opens the door for all we desire to effortlessly flow toward us.

So, my reader, stop chasing. Stop striving. Instead, practice gratitude. Praise life—not just for what you have, but for what is yet to come. Praise life for its dualities, for its lessons, and for its divine orchestration.

When you do this, you’ll find that all you desire will harden into fact. Life will begin to unfold with ease, joy, and abundance—not because you’re chasing it, but because you’ve finally allowed it to arrive.

How to Practice Gratitude

Daily Gratitude Practice

Dedicate just five minutes every morning or evening to reflecting on gratitude. I write two paragraphs daily:

Current Blessings: Acknowledge and appreciate what’s present in your life right now.
Future Blessings: Write about your desires as if they’ve already happened. This practice aligns your mindset with the wish fulfilled. For example: “I’m grateful for the incredible safari my kids and I just returned from.”

By expressing gratitude for the future as though it’s already real, you’re not just wishing—you’re embodying the energy of abundance and trust.

Find Lessons in Challenges

When life feels messy, pause and ask: “What is this moment trying to teach me?”

Praising life’s challenges doesn’t mean denying their difficulty—it means choosing to see the hidden opportunities and wisdom within them. Hardship, when approached with gratitude, transforms into growth.

This mindset allows you to reframe struggles, turning them into stepping stones rather than stumbling blocks. Gratitude is the key that unlocks this perspective.

By practicing these simple steps, gratitude becomes more than a fleeting emotion—it becomes a way of life, empowering you to see every moment, every challenge, as part of life’s divine orchestration.

Final Thoughts

Gratitude is one of the core principles I teach for becoming an Ethical Conman—a framework for using the tools of persuasion not to manipulate, but to embody the essence of the apple tree. It’s about becoming magnetic, where instead of chasing life, life chases you.

As you navigate this holiday season, take a moment to practice gratitude. Even when it feels like the world is falling apart, remember: some of life’s greatest gifts come wrapped in sh*t.

That’s it for today! Thank you for reading. I’m truly grateful for every single one of you.

See you next week!

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